How does one identify their feelings when the connection has been severed or never even properly developed at all?

The answer that I’ve found for myself over the years is through embodiment and art. I will never know how other people perceive the world but I know I have found my own way. A heavy feeling around my heart, an expansion of energy, an unease in the throat. Some feelings feel light and some heavy, some dull and some electric leaving me feeling like my all my nerve endings are on fire.

At this stage there is still no awareness of what these feelings are but I can often match them to music and colors. So I put whatever song fits on and grab the paint that most closely matches the feeling. The pace and strokes are then determined by the music.

This way when I’m done painting I either can identify what the feeling is and what it stems from or at the very least I can feel that I have processed something. And that is how I know when I’m done: there is often a visceral sense of relief and release of tension.